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anneke
Queen of Egypt
Joined: 23 Jan 2004
Posts: 9305
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 Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:01 pm Post subject: Things to ponder .... |
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This was something funny I got from one of our secretaries. Some things to ponder. (see what happens if I'm home sick and get bored?  )
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see 'em tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its butt."
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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Daughter_Of_SETI
Divine Adoratrice
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 2563
Location: Hull, UK
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| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:09 pm Post subject: Re: Things to ponder .... |
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| anneke wrote: | | Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see 'em tumble down the stairs. |
 ^^ This one's especially funny! 
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anneke
Queen of Egypt
Joined: 23 Jan 2004
Posts: 9305
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| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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LOL Remind you of someone?
I didn't copy all of 'em and these 2 may be my favorites:
| Quote: | Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its butt."
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I'm picturing this dimwitted cro-magnon making a bet with his buddy after eating one too many fermented berry:
"See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
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Smenkare
Citizen
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 78
Location: Sadly not Egypt, but Massachusetts
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| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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I love these two
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing. "
"In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal."
HYSTERICAL!!! |
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Daughter_Of_SETI
Divine Adoratrice
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 2563
Location: Hull, UK
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| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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 Smenkare, it's good to see you back around here. 
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Smenkare
Citizen
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 78
Location: Sadly not Egypt, but Massachusetts
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| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Daughter_Of_SETI wrote: | | Smenkare, it's good to see you back around here. |
Hi! Thanks, I was wondering if anyone remebered me! |
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Daughter_Of_SETI
Divine Adoratrice
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 2563
Location: Hull, UK
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| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Smenkare wrote: | | Hi! Thanks, I was wondering if anyone remebered me! |
LOL, of course I remember you. Who can forget the 'Klutsy Architect' from the If Egyptian Dreams were a village, who would you be? thread. 
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Smenkare
Citizen
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 78
Location: Sadly not Egypt, but Massachusetts
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:33 am Post subject: |
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Yes my name will live on forever as the worlds greatest architect!!!! 
Looks as if that story was never finished, I'll have to get around to reading all the stuff i missed!!! |
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Daughter_Of_SETI
Divine Adoratrice
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 2563
Location: Hull, UK
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 1:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Smenkare wrote: | | Looks as if that story was never finished, I'll have to get around to reading all the stuff i missed!!! |
Yeah, unfortunately that thread came to a grinding halt not long after you'd stopped posting there.... Maybe it was missing some magic....  
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Smenkare
Citizen
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 78
Location: Sadly not Egypt, but Massachusetts
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Hmm too bad, maybe another one should be started! |
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Daughter_Of_SETI
Divine Adoratrice
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 2563
Location: Hull, UK
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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Sounds like a great idea, Smenkare. You should give it a go!
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kmt_sesh
Moderator
Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 7099
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 12:56 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" |
That's definitely my favorite.
And I'd have to pair it with, "Who was the first person to see an oyster and say, 'When you open it, it looks like congealed snot...Yum!'"
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Smartie
Scribe
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 250
Location: U.S.A.
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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I saw some funny ones in certain, sites I just HAD to post some.
Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands?
Are there any unguided missiles?
Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?
Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
What do batteries run on? (umm...batteries? lol)
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What do they call a French kiss in France?
What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company?
Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?
What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? (maybe it blows up)
What is "Soft Liquor"?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?
Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?
How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?
Where is Old Zealand?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
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kmt_sesh
Moderator
Joined: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 7099
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Those are great, Smartie!
| Quote: | | What do they call a French kiss in France? |
"O-la-la!" 
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Daughter_Of_SETI
Divine Adoratrice
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 2563
Location: Hull, UK
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 7:59 pm Post subject: |
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Those are really funny, Smartie.
| kmt_sesh wrote: | | Quote: | | What do they call a French kiss in France? |
"O-la-la!" |
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