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New Fall TV Line up for Atenville!!!!!!

 
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VBadJuJu
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 4:19 am    Post subject: New Fall TV Line up for Atenville!!!!!! Reply with quote

I saw a reference to Akhenaten's sed festival where the gods werent invited, so all the statues were of Akhenaten, of course. With the new fall TV shows coming out, I was thining what the lineup would be in Neferville:

Mondays
8:00 - 8:30: Leave it to Akhenaten!
8:30 - 9:00: The Akhenaten Show
9:00 - 10:00: Akhenaten's Angels

Tuesdays
8:00 - 8:30: I Love Nefertiti
8:30 - 9:00: My Three Daughters
9:00 - 10:00: CSI: Akhetaten

Wednesdays
8:00 - 8:30: Three's Company (Aten, Akhenaten, Nefertiti)
8:30 - 9:00: I Dream of Akhenaten
9:00 - 10:00: Law & Maat: RCU (Religious Crimes Unit)

Thursday
8:00 - 8:30: Akhenaten Knows Best
8:30 - 9:00: L! P! H! for Akhenaten!
9:00 - 10:00: Memphis Vice

Friday
8:00 - 9:00: Survivor: Elephantine Island
9:30 - 10:00: Mythbusters: False gods (132 part series)
Part 1: "That Foolish Orsiris"

Saturday
8:00 - 8:30: The Courtship of Smenkhare's Probable Father
8:30 - 9:00: The Akhenaten Bunch
9:00 - 10:00: Unsolved Mysteries: The Armana Period (a sure hit)

Sunday
7:00 - 8:00: The Streets of Akhetaten!
8:00 - 10:00: The Akhenaten Movie of the Week

Daily Sunrise to Sunset: Aten Worship for Shutins
Nightly: Late Nite with Akhenaten!


Special Programming / Cable
---------------------------
Women's Health & Beauty (Hosted by Nefertiti & Meriaten)
Special Guest: Akhenaten; Segments: Cranial Care;
Non Excercising the Thighs

Akhetaten Headline News (AHN)

The Travel Channel:
Avoiding Crocks, Hippos and Scorpions enroute to Atenville

Inside Akhetaten (Public Service Channel) Segments:
* Where to buy sunscreen
* How to behave around the Jubilation Enforcers (JE)
* How to survive standing in the sun for hours and hours
* 100 reasons your hovel needs no roof (besides 'I said so').
* How to report a heretic still worshipping false gods
* How YOU can get your own golden shebyu collar
* Herbs to help you recover fast from JE inflicted injuries
* The Reason you dont really want to leave Akhetaten
* Plague??? Lying swine, there is no plague here! (Host: Baghdad Bob)
* The Jubilation Enforcers are your friends, really they are!
* Why so many friends worshipping false idols have "accidents"
* 100 name change ideas if yours contains Maat, Amun, Sobek etc
* How to fashion YOUR cranium into encyphillytic shape
* Whats available at the Atenville Gift Shop (Akhenaten figurines ONLY)
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ImageOfAten
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

....And to think when I clicked on this thread I thought it was going to be information on a new documentary or something similar.... Surprised
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VBadJuJu
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I should think that line up would be right up your alley - All Akhentaten all the Time. Gives 22 minutes and we'll give you Akhetaten.

You gotta admit some of them are funny.
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I probably would enjoy that programming, but what do you mean by 22 minutes? Yeah I admit a few were comical Smile
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
You gotta admit some of them are funny.


Damn, are you kidding? I nearly busted a gut the first time I read them.

I have an idea for a spinoff for "Women's Health & Beauty (Hosted by Nefertiti & Meriaten)." It would be "Extreme Akhy Makeover," and everyone who goes under the knife would end up looking the same:



Now that's programming Akhenaten would go for!
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VBadJuJu
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 6:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ROFL!!! I love it!
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 6:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ImageOfAten wrote:
what do you mean by 22 minutes?


Sorry, my fingers got ahead of my brain (or is that the other way around?).

"Gives us 22 minutes and we'll give you the world" was an early promo bumper for CNN/Headline News.
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Sorry, my fingers got ahead of my brain (or is that the other way around?).


You should consider yourself fortunate, then. We all know that half of the time my brain and my fingers don't even communicate, which is why I end up typing nonsense like the "wife/voice" boner.

And by "boner" I mean mistake, not...well, you know what I mean. Very Happy
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isisinacrisis
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooh, sounds like a typical Channel Five lineup Wink Yup, they do also show Law and Order and CSI on that channel, as well as a plethora of Egyptian stuff...

Not Akhenaten related but what about: Mummification-Live! Forget 'Cosmetic Surgery-Live', watch the ultimate in body preservation and enhancement live on TV! Watch as our Anubis priest carries a real mummification taking place before the cameras-all the gore! All the entrails! We even have a special 'nose picking' camera for all the brain scenes! It'll be bloody good fun! Laughing
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Not Akhenaten related but what about: Mummification-Live! Forget 'Cosmetic Surgery-Live', watch the ultimate in body preservation and enhancement live on TV! Watch as our Anubis priest carries a real mummification taking place before the cameras-all the gore! All the entrails! We even have a special 'nose picking' camera for all the brain scenes! It'll be bloody good fun!


I might be a 39-year-old man, but I have to say it: How cool would THAT be! I would pay to see that. LOL I like the nose-cam idea...it reminds me of those CSI shows with all the weird camera angles. Well, inside someone's nose--it doesn't get much weirder than that.

I always wanted to see an autopsy. I think it comes from Quincy, one of my favorite TV shows when I was a kid. I came close to attending one when I was studying to be an EMT many years ago, but our class's trip to the ME's office was cancelled for some reason. I was bummed. Sad

But the live mummification thing would be even better. See what you can do with the BBC to get that set up, isisinacrisis. I'll bet Bob Brier would sign on to play the head priest. Salima Ikram would probably like to play the part of the disembowler. Plenty of interest out there. Laughing
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe Gunther Von Haagens could do a cameo??? Laughing He's the guy who did the live autopsy that caused so much controversy-that was long before they showed live liposuctions and boob jobs on TV! He's also the guy who invented what I call 'modern mummification'-the plastication of bodies to preserve them in the best possible way, like in the Bodyworlds exhibition? All the organs and tissues are preserved so well, it's amazing.

I think Gunther would make a fantastic Anubis Priest. Maybe he was one in a past life? Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Maybe Gunther Von Haagens could do a cameo???


I thought his name was familiar. I saw that exhibit here in Chicago, and it was fantastic. He actually did a live autopsy? Was that in Europe? I don't see American television producers as brave enough to attempt such a thing, the ninnies. I'd still prefer Bob Brier as the head priest--I like the guy--but maybe von Haagens could be the lector priest. Speaking ancient Egyptian spells in a thick German accent might be entertaining. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I thought his name was familiar. I saw that exhibit here in Chicago, and it was fantastic.

Yeah, he's here in Ontario at the Ontario Science Center with his Body Worlds exhibit, I really want to go. I should go.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Yeah, he's here in Ontario at the Ontario Science Center with his Body Worlds exhibit, I really want to go. I should go.


Yes, indeed you should. A warning: this one's not for the squeamish! I don't picture you as the squeamish sort, though. Wink
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 12:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh I could imagine...

"You know it's so boring. Nothing good on. No wars to watch."Horemheb.
"Yeah, it's all centered on you-know-who. He gives me NO credit. All I wanted was my name in tiny letters..."Ay
"And we are sitting here in this bar.I miss the festivals. Free Beer!"H
"I got an idea, the old man has little time left. The older kid we can do away with easily,"A
"Just poisen his beer."H
"That actually sounds good,coming from a drunk.The kid we can use as a front. I am such a Goebbals..."Ay
"Whose Goebbals?"H
"Went to an oracle a few years back.She said pass propraganda is the future. So are you. I can gaurrantee you will be a Napoleon!"Ay
"Nap--sorry?"H
"Me and the sibyl were--she said he will be a great soldier. You would like him".Ay
"Ok. Let's make history. We'll destroy this dumb city!"H
"That's ok, I had a bar in Thebes but my brother went broke."Patron
"My first act as king will be to compensate you for this bar!"H
Ay looks at him crossly.
"Hey, it's hard to find a good bar."H
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